Dr. Kelly Flanagan Thinks You Are Loveable: Embracing What Is Truest about You, So You Can Truly Embrace Your Life | PoP 359

Dr. Kelly Flanagan Thinks You Are Loveable: Embracing What Is Truest about You, So You Can Truly Embrace Your Life

Do you ever experience feelings of self-doubt? Are you feeling out of touch with your true self? Do you make time for your passions and things that light you up?

In this podcast episode, Joe Sanok speaks with Dr. Kelly Flanagan about egos, what we do to build it up, how to break through it and the things that stand in the way of us loving ourselves.

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Meet Dr. Kelly Flanagan

Dr. Kelly Flanagan is an author, speaker, podcaster, licensed clinical psychologist, and co-founder of Artisan Clinical Associates in Naperville, IL. He blogs regularly at drkellyflanagan.com. His writing has been featured in Reader’s Digest, and he has appeared on the TODAY Show and in The Huffington Post. 

Find out more about Dr. Kelly on Instagram, LinkedIn, Twitter and Facebook.

Dr. Kelly Flanagan’s Story

In 2017, Kelly published Loveable: Embracing What Is Truest About You, So You Can Truly Embrace Your Lifeand it debuted as the #1 New Release in Interpersonal Relations on Amazon. He is the host of The Loveable Podcast. Kelly is married to another clinical psychologist named Kelly, and they have three children who are in the ninth, fifth, and third grades.

In This Podcast


In this podcast episode, Joe Sanok speaks with Dr. Kelly Flanagan about embracing what is truest about you, so you can truly embrace your life.

True Self

The way I see it we all come into this world with a true self. It’s good enough, it’s sufficient, it’s worthy of love and belonging. But at some point we all begin to doubt that.

Shame eventually starts to creep in and this is the message that your true self is not good enough. Because of this, you then start to build a false self.

The Ego Castle

Our false self or our egos are like a castle, and our true self resides hidden away, protected within this courtyard of the ego castle.

Over the course of life we add 3 components to the ego castle:

  1. Ego walls – hide our true selves away so that nobody can see who we truly are
  2. Ego canons – the more aggressive, angry, relationally and even physically violent ways that we keep people at bay
  3. The ego throne – power, possession, and prestige

The more effective way to shift from living with your ego back to your true self is to have compassion for the reasons you needed an ego in the first place.

Switching from Clinical Work to the Big Idea

In early 2011 one of Dr. Kelly’s client’s suggested that he spread the word about the services he was providing. He realized that he had been wanting to write for a while and got down to blogging. He wrote 2 viral posts and after appearing on The Today Show he was connected with a great literary agent and started thinking about book ideas.

Publishing a Book

Before you’re trying to publish a book, you pitch yourself to an agent.

These days publishers don’t look at content first, they look at platforms first. You need to be careful about building a platform that gives you access to the email inboxes of people who are going to be interested to buy the words that you want to share with them.

Finding Balance

For me it’s all about the scheduling, it’s all about the discipline.

Dr.Kelly notes that he won’t write unless it’s blocked in his calendar like any other activity in his day to day schedule. Family time is also scheduled.

Practicing Passions

I noticed a number of years ago that all the therapists that I knew who were happiest, were practicing a passion on the side. They all had a side gig and it wasn’t necessarily making money for them.

Making time for your passions is so important, it’s a time and space that will allow you to do something new.

Dr. Kelly Flanagan’s Book

Useful Links:

Meet Joe Sanok

private practice consultant

Joe Sanok helps counselors to create thriving practices that are the envy of other counselors. He has helped counselors to grow their businesses by 50-500% and is proud of all the private practice owners that are growing their income, influence, and impact on the world. Click here to explore consulting with Joe.

Thanks For Listening!

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