Find Love: Dating Advice from Professional Matchmaker Dr. Christie Kederian | PoP 647

A photo of Dr. Christie Kederian is captured. Dr. Christie Kederian is a nationally renowned relationship expert who specializes in helping clients create lives they love and find the love they deserve. Dr. Christie Kederian is featured on Practice of the Practice, a therapist podcast.

Is there a way to exploit dating site algorithms? How does the science of compatibility work? What dating advice can therapists give their clients?

In this podcast episode, Joe Sanok speaks with professional matchmaker Dr. Christie Kederian about compatibility, online dating, and building a relationship mindset.

Podcast Sponsor: Therapy Notes

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Meet Dr. Christie Kederian

A photo of Dr. Christie Kederian is captured. She is a relationship expert, professional matchmaker, and radio host. Dr. Kederian is featured on Practice of the Practice, a therapist podcast.Dr. Christie Kederian is a nationally renowned relationship expert. With an extensive career as a professional matchmaker and relationship expert for eHarmony and a Match.com affiliate company, Christie has helped thousands of people create lives they love and find the love they deserve.

She is a “Triple Trojan” receiving her Bachelor’s, Master’s & doctoral degree at the University of Southern California in Psychology, Marriage, and Family Therapy. Dr. Christie is also a radio host of The Lyrical Therapy Hour and has been a featured expert in NBC, the Wall Street Journal, Cosmopolitan, and many more. She is also a professional speaker and provides training with the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists.

Visit The Therapy for Dating website and connect with Dr. Kederian on Instagram, Twitter, and LinkedIn.

In This Podcast

  • Compatibility
  • The dating landscape and your personal goals
  • Post-pandemic dating information for therapists
  • Dr. Kederian’s advice to private practitioners

Compatibility

There is a general pursuer/distancer dynamic in most couples.

There is a science behind dating and what makes people work. There’s a vague concept but there is research around certain things … that whole concept of “opposites attract” … is not true … it’s the more similar you are in the important ways, the more compatible you are with somebody. (Dr. Christie Kederian)

Some of these similarities include:

  • Educational background
  • Your commitment to your belief systems
  • Emotional maturity

It has been shown that making choices while keeping baseline similarities in mind has a hand in long-term compatibility.

The dating landscape and your personal goals

Due to the pandemic and the rise in digital media, the dating landscape has developed and shifted towards serving online dating platforms almost more so than meeting potential partners in reality.

Online dating is a tool, but you have to know how to use this tool to get the job done … if you are not using it strategically and you don’t know that the algorithm is similar to social media, then you can get outsmarted by it, so you have to empower yourself with the knowledge of learning it. (Dr. Christie Kederian)

You need to be clear on what you are looking for in a potential partner before you go on the online dating app itself. Be clear on what you want so that you are not confused by all the options.

Therapists can help their clients discern which traits and qualities they would like their potential partner to have, and then figure out based on these qualities which dating app would be best for the client to use.

Post-pandemic dating information for therapists

For therapists that have clients that want to find love and date, I would encourage [therapists] to not wait for some end moment where all the chaos and uncertainty is over but rather to pursue what they are looking for and desire in the midst of uncertainty and sit with [their clients] in that anxiety. (Dr. Christie Kederian)

  • Therapists can encourage their clients to make the present situation work instead of waiting for the pandemic to be “over”.
  • Clients can learn how to make the most of the present situation to find a great partner rather than waiting continuously.
  • Get clear on boundaries: therapists can help their clients understand what they do and do not feel comfortable with on online dating app platforms.

Which behaviors of potential partners are red flags for them? What is a turn-off? What is attractive, and how do they decide whether a new partner is aligned with their principles and desires?

Dr. Kederian’s advice to private practitioners

The core of therapy is relationships and being grounded in this will help you to see eye to eye with your clients and their relationships, allowing you to guide them. Grounding yourself in relationships will help you to work on a deeper level with your clients.

Useful Links mentioned in this episode:

Check out these additional resources:

Meet Joe Sanok

A photo of Joe Sanok is displayed. Joe, private practice consultant, offers helpful advice for group practice owners to grow their private practice. His therapist podcast, Practice of the Practice, offers this advice.

Joe Sanok helps counselors to create thriving practices that are the envy of other counselors. He has helped counselors to grow their businesses by 50-500% and is proud of all the private practice owners that are growing their income, influence, and impact on the world. Click here to explore consulting with Joe.

Thanks For Listening!

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