How I got through betrayal, divorce, and a religious transition with Emily Runyan | POP 752

A photo of Emily Runyan is captured. Emily Runyan is a therapist in Gallatin, TN, and the Founder and CEO of Tennessee Mental Wellness.Emily Runyan is featured on Practice of the Practice, a therapist podcast.

Have you experienced intimate betrayal? How do you talk to your kids about divorce? Have you used the YOU-turn method to calm yourself down in moments of emotional flooding?

In the last episode of the How I Got Through It series, Joe Sanok speaks about getting through betrayal, divorce, and a religious transition with Emily Runyan.

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Meet Emily Runyan

A photo of Emily Runyan is captured. She is a therapist in Gallatin, TN, and the Founder and CEO of Tennessee Mental Wellness. Emily is featured on the Practice of the Practice, a therapist podcast.

Emily Runyan is a therapist in Gallatin, TN, and the Founder and CEO of Tennessee Mental Wellness. Taking what she learned from the traditional model of mental health care, Emily set out to create something different when she started her private practice. Her attention to detail to the whole client experience and treating her staff exceptionally well have built a reputation of excellence that is recognized by the community.

Emily has been working in the mental health field since 1997. She started as an instructor at a wilderness treatment program for at-risk youth and later became a therapist in community mental health, a Christian-based counseling clinic, and finally opened her own practice in 2017.

Visit Tennessee Mental Wellness and connect with Emily on Facebook, Instagram, and Psychology Today.

In this Podcast:

  • Losing yourself in a toxic relationship
  • Coping with betrayal
  • Experiencing a religious transition
  • Helpful habits and mindset shifts
  • Emily’s advice to her younger self

Losing yourself in a toxic relationship

Emily was trying everything she could think of to make her marriage work. However, her partner at the time was not willing and did not share her passions.

I arranged weekend getaways and date nights, and he came along unenthusiastically, but for me, that deepened the sense of, “There’s got to be a right way for this thing to work out and if I just find that right way then it will work out.” (Emily Runyan)

In the end, it was only her left in the relationship, and she felt that she had lost herself in the attempt to keep it.

Coping with betrayal

The final straw for Emily was finding out that her partner was having an affair.

After about a year of hustling for scraps, [there was] a disclosure of an affair and I had been so in my hustling-for-scraps mode that I had been in denial about noticing signs that were there during that year. (Emily Runyan)

Emily experienced a deep pain that she did not know was possible to feel and felt deep betrayal.

Although, due to the toxic nature of the partnership, the affair made her feel less valued and “not good enough” instead of giving her fuel to fire her exit.

Luckily, her therapy skills stepped in, and she sought a therapist and started looking after herself.

What grew out of that trauma was a deep sense of getting to know myself better [by] being with myself in my worst moments and just loving and comforting myself as I was going through that. (Emily Runyan)

Experiencing a religious transition

Sometimes traumas in life can impact a person to the extent that they begin to question the things they had never thought to question before.

As this unraveled … I had done everything right according to the religion, and still, life wasn’t great and things didn’t turn out great. (Emily Runyan)

Emily was already in a process of leaning away from the religion that she grew up in, with much love and appreciation, but understanding that it did no longer suit her growth and development as an individual.

I took off what I felt were shackles of that religious view of women in women’s roles … I felt like I had to so that I could step into my empowerment as a single mother and provider for my children. (Emily Runyan)

Helpful habits and mindset shifts

Emily used the mindset shift of the YOU-turn, which is coming to a stop turning back to the direction that you want to be in once you realize you have been going the wrong way.

You can use the YOU-turn method by asking yourself these questions when you feel flooded:

  • What are you feeling?
  • Where is it in your body?
  • What does this feeling mean?

Emily’s advice to her younger self

You will have the happiest and best life when you do not betray yourself. Celebrate your uniqueness and build a life that protects them.

Useful Links mentioned in this episode:

Check out these additional resources:

Meet Joe Sanok

A photo of Joe Sanok is displayed. Joe, private practice consultant, offers helpful advice for group practice owners to grow their private practice. His therapist podcast, Practice of the Practice, offers this advice.

Joe Sanok helps counselors to create thriving practices that are the envy of other counselors. He has helped counselors to grow their businesses by 50-500% and is proud of all the private practice owners that are growing their income, influence, and impact on the world. Click here to explore consulting with Joe.

Thanks For Listening!

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