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What happens to a person’s development when they experience intense grief as a teenager? Has your relationship with grief changed as you have aged? How is healing grief like healing a broken bone?
In the third podcast episode of the How I Got Through It series, Joe Sanok speaks about the death of a sibling with Rebecca Sidoti.
Podcast Sponsor: Heard
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Meet Rebecca Sidoti
Rebecca Sidoti is the owner of Mind by Design Counseling in New Jersey and she specializes in anxiety, trauma, OCD, and phobias. Though she fully believes in the power of traditional therapies, she also provides Virtual Reality Therapy as a tool in session to help progress in exposure therapy, trauma-focused work, and distress tolerance.
Rebecca uses evidenced-based approaches, but her first and foremost is the “no-nonsense counseling” approach, which cuts out the rigid, too-clinical feel that therapy sometimes has and welcomes the raw human interaction.
Visit Mind By Design Counseling and connect on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn.
In this Podcast:
- Grief as a stranger
- Trauma as a teenager
- Developing the view of grief over time
- Rebecca’s advice to her younger self
Grief as a stranger
[The loss of my brother] felt like a stranger, like grief is just a stranger that’s now part of you and it’s something that you become familiar to … it [didn’t] feel so different after a while. (Rebecca Sidoti)
The old expression of “time heals everything” may ring true to the idea that over time you become accustomed to what happened, and you learn tools and ways to deal with it, rather than it healing fully.
Trauma as a teenager
Navigating the normal world as a teenager is already a nuanced business because there is so much change and new things to learn about yourself and the world you thought you lived in.
When you are exposed to a deep trauma as a teenager, it can have a deep impact on how you develop as a person.
I think recognizing the vulnerability of being alive was what sparked so much anxiety but also a lot of passion to figure out how we [can] help each other. (Rebecca Sidoti)
Developing the view of grief over time
Many people who experience intense grief or trauma strive to feel “normal” again, like how they felt before the event happened.
Grief, in the beginning, is very unfamiliar … it’s this stranger that’s there, and it’s abrupt. (Rebecca Sidoti)
Rebecca describes intense grief as a broken leg. There are periods of shock, intense pain, and variations of short-term to long-term healing.
Even once the leg is healed, there will be sudden spikes of pain. Grief will come in waves, like the pain, and the length between the waves will even out.
Rebecca’s advice to her younger self
It is okay to be afraid and to still do it. Do not let fear stop you from doing what is good for you, and what you need to do.
Books mentioned in this episode:
Useful Links mentioned in this episode:
- When you sign up with Heard, you’ll work directly with financial specialists to track your income and expenses, file taxes online, and grow your business. Sign up now at www.joinheard.com.
- Visit Mind By Design Counseling and connect on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn.
Check out these additional resources:
- How I got through my son’s seizure and daughter’s sexual assault with Kate Pieper | POP 737
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Meet Joe Sanok
Joe Sanok helps counselors to create thriving practices that are the envy of other counselors. He has helped counselors to grow their businesses by 50-500% and is proud of all the private practice owners that are growing their income, influence, and impact on the world. Click here to explore consulting with Joe.
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