Are you happy in your work? Are you speaking your truth? How can you get real with yourself and find joy, true happiness, contentment, and peace?
In this podcast episode, Joe Sanok speaks to Lisa Cherney about getting f’n real.
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Meet Lisa Cherney
Lisa Cherney has been advising millionaire entrepreneurs for over 20 years. She is the host of the ground-breaking confession-based GFR (Get F’n Real) podcast. In 2014, after 15 years in business, Lisa got f’n real and dismantled her successful 7-Figure business.
Now she helps soulful entrepreneurs GFR so they can get out of their own way, help more people, and make more money!
Listen to Lisa’s podcast.
In This Podcast
- The dismantling of Lisa’s business
- The emotional side of letting go of this thing that you worked so hard to build
- The GFR Commandments
- Exposing the messages we’ve been hiding
- Internal fears
The dismantling of Lisa’s business
Lisa has been an entrepreneur for almost 21 years and wants everybody to know that it is okay to reinvent yourself. About two years into a particular seven-figure business model, Lisa realized that she was unhappy. She has a very low tolerance for not feeling good or being unhappy so that’s when she had one of her first really big GFR moments. She needed to get real about how she wasn’t happy with this business where she was teaching other people to create businesses that they loved.
So she dismantled it without really knowing what was next. She needed to begin to move towards not having that particular business before she really got clarity on what was next for her but the really significant piece for Lisa was actually making that decision and the process of completely closing down wasn’t overnight. It took about a year and a half so she had the chance to be open to discovering what was next while winding down.
The emotional side of letting go of this thing that you worked so hard to build
It often is not so much about not loving what you thought you’d love, but not really loving how you’re doing it.
It’s scary when you are letting go of the things that you think you need and you’re looking at the logic of it. It’s costly to make decisions motivated by money and it is so important to be conscious of the energy that you’re putting into things. When Lisa looks at her calendar, if there’s something that feels heavy, she knows that she needs to pay attention to that. We are programmed that it is normal to do stuff that we don’t want to do and we have to suck it up but Lisa completely rejects that belief.
The GFR Commandments
This is not about being rude to people or hurting people’s feelings, but there is a big gap between being rude and hurting people’s feelings and the way that many of us are living, and hiding, and not saying the things.
Lisa put together a list of 12 ways that her mission-based entrepreneur clients have been getting in their own way. Each commandment has what she calls a confession question which helps her clients to go inward and ask themselves if this is where they need to be taking a closer look.
Lisa’s third commandment is “Don’t worry about being normal, proper, or polite” and the confession question that goes along with that is “Where am I not speaking my truth?”
There are so many external expectations, rules, and regulations that fall under being proper and polite, and we allow these to override our own inclinations, feelings, and callings. When we are our own boss, it is so refreshing to be reminded that we are in charge and we can speak our truth.
Exposing the messages we’ve been hiding
Figure out what your soapbox is because that’s your fire. That’s the thing that’s gonna motivate you maybe to move past fears of getting on Facebook Live, that’s going to motivate you to get out there so you can help the people you want to help.
Sometimes we’re not aware of how we haven’t been being real. How do we figure it out and then where do we put it? Lisa’s ninth commandment is “Know that if you have a specific mission or calling, there are people who need it” and the confession question is “If my mission was guaranteed to make money, what would I do?”
Lisa believes that all great marketing and intentional evolution of business starts with us first and is an inside out approach. People should start getting real with where they’re holding themselves back and where are they not having faith in their mission:
- Figure out what you want to say – What’s your soapbox? If you had faith in yourself and didn’t worry about what people thought, what would you say?
- Where do you want to say it? – Do you like being on video? Do you like doing live video? Is writing your passion? Do you like speaking and doing interviews like on podcasts?
- Give yourself permission to pick the marketing strategies that feel good and fun. There’s usually something for everybody.
Find somewhere that you can begin to take those baby steps of saying the things that you really want to say and being who you really want to be.
The antidote to Imposter Syndrome is confessing. It is sharing things that feel scary, things that you’ve hidden, things that you’ve felt embarrassed about, things that you’re worried will be rejected.
“Confession” is a loaded word, so is the F word, but that’s what makes it more potent. Start somewhere with baby steps, and if you don’t feel like you can do something within a reasonable amount of time, then that step isn’t small enough.
When people get f’n real, first and foremost there is more availability for joy, true happiness, contentment, and peace. People are titillated by their work and excited by what they get to show up for. It truly does bring contentment and, ironically, brings money too. Lisa sees people surrender and let go of what they thought they needed to get clients and then they got clients. That’s the magic of getting f’n real, you’re giving yourself permission to finally be happy. That happiness is an internally driven feeling, and then the payoff happens.
Books mentioned in this episode
- Growing a Platform with Platform University’s John Meese | PoP 480
- Next Level Practice
- Sign up to join the free webinars and events here
- Podcast Launch School
- Practice of the Practice Podcast Network
- Free resources to help you start, grow and scale
- Apply to work with us
Meet Joe Sanok
Joe Sanok helps counselors to create thriving practices that are the envy of other counselors. He has helped counselors to grow their businesses by 50-500% and is proud of all the private practice owners that are growing their income, influence, and impact on the world. Click here to explore consulting with Joe.
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This is the Practice of the Practice podcast with Joe Sanok, session number 481. Well, let me just say if you didn’t check it out in the title that there are some naughty words in this interview. So, if you listen to this in the car with your children, you might not want to do it this time. Really excited today to talk about Lisa Cherney, who she is going to be talking about getting effin real. And she dives into all sorts of things with her coaching practice and what she does. As you just heard at the front end, Next Level Practice is opening up again on August 24th. Now if you aren’t a part of Next Level Practice and your practice is not yet at six figures, Next Level Practice is for you. This is the membership community; we have over 400 members and probably have at least 100 more coming in August 24th. So, make sure that you’re getting those invites over at practiceofthepractice.com/invite. You are going to get access, when you join Next Level Practice, to over 30 eCourses, a monthly expert, we have live sessions that I host, helping you break through all of the stumbling blocks and worries of private practice. We help you pivot quickly. A lot of our Next Level Practitioners, they pivoted so quickly during COVID to online counseling that they actually saw an increase in the number of clients that they were seeing. It was so awesome to see that community support one another. So, if you are not making six figures yet, Next Level Practice is the membership community for you. Right now, it’s only $99; in 2021 we are planning to raise the price. So, make sure that you jump in now at that; you will lock in that rate forever – $99 a month. So, for less than the cost of how much you make from one client a month, you can get access to all this stuff. So again, that’s practiceofthepractice.com/invite. And now without further ado, I give you Lisa.
Well today on the Practice of the Practice podcast we have Lisa Cherney. Lisa has been advising millionaire entrepreneurs for over 20 years. She is the host of the groundbreaking confession based GFR – Get Fn Real – podcast. In 2014, after 15 years in business, Lisa got effin real and dismantled her successful seven figure business. Now she helps soulful entrepreneurs GFR so they can get out of their own way, help more people, and make more money. Lisa, welcome to the Practice of the Practice podcast.[LISA]:
Thanks, Joe. I’m excited to be here. [JOE]:
Yeah, I am really excited that you’re here and based on the intro – I probably will also record something – we may drop some f-bombs, so if people have some kids around, if we go there, you might want to put some headphones on. So, who knows where we might land with some of the language in this episode. [LISA]:
Oh, good. [JOE]:
So, Lisa, let’s go back a little bit. So, your bio, it says you dismantled your business. Tell me about what happened there and then how that led into the GFR. [LISA]:
Sure. So, I have been an entrepreneur since 1999; I’m celebrating my 21st year. And I’m here to let everybody know it’s okay to reinvent yourself multiple times. And most of the time, it’s something that you don’t have control over. And so that’s really been my journey, and about 15 years into my entrepreneurial journey, I had gotten the T shirt of creating a seven figure business and really thought that that was going… like, that business model and that business was really going to be something I was going to do for a long, long time. And about two years into that particular model of my business, which was doing big events and having your long programs and doing launches, I realized I was really unhappy, and I have a low tolerance for not feeling good, for being unhappy. I don’t know how to do denial like some people do. And I needed to get real. It was one of my really first, big, GFR moments, was getting real about how I wasn’t happy with this business where I was teaching other people to create businesses that they loved. And so, I dismantled it without really knowing what was going to be next, which was super, super scary. In fact, I was kind of feeling into that again this morning about how crazy that was. And yet now I’m here and super happy to have been able to connect with what was next for me and my expression in the world. So, there’s obviously a lot more I could share about it. Um, I think that the big things I would like to point out is that I did not know what I was going to do. I did make a decision before I knew what Plan B was, even though I analyzed it to death. I still didn’t have an answer for what Plan B was, but I knew that I couldn’t stay doing what I was doing. So, I needed to make a decision and begin to move towards not having that particular business before I really got clarity on what was next for me. [JOE]:
And did you have like a nest egg kind of saved up so that you could have some time to sort through that? Or what kind of planning did you do just so that it wasn’t like jumping off a cliff with no parachute? [LISA]:
Well, did I have a nest egg? It took me about a year and a half to completely close down all the things I was doing so it wasn’t like overnight I said, goodbye, clients, I’m firing you all, here’s your money back. Really the significant piece was making a decision like, this is something that I’m no longer really excited and happy with. So, I’m going to begin to do things that helped me to wind this thing down. So that was significant. And the decision, making the decision, actually, I got more excited about what I was doing because I knew it was coming to an end. So, I had a chance to be open to discovering what was next while I was still winding down the current business. [JOE]:
I love that you kind of point out the winding down versus just like, I’m going to shut it down. Because I think there can be a tendency when you realize, oh my gosh, I don’t like this anymore, to just totally shut it all down right in that moment. I think this is such a common thing in our audience where they’ve gone all the way through a master’s degree or doctorate and, you know, they’ve spent so much time learning about psychology and therapy, and then they get their private practice going, it’s going successfully, they hire clinicians, and then they’re like, what am I doing? I don’t like this as much. And then there’s all this guilt, like, I went to school and got a PhD in fill in the blank, and now I don’t really want to do this anymore. And it’s so fun for me to help people look at different options, to say, you have the skill set that you’re passionate about, but the one on one model for you isn’t what fills you up. So, let’s look at creating eCourses. Let’s look at creating podcasts, or writing books, or speaking, like, there’s a million ways to use these skills and it doesn’t have to just be in a clinical setting. And that shift for people, I included, to kind of dismantle my image as a therapist and say, I’m going to try something new was so hard because that had been since I was in like second grade what I wanted to be. How did you deal with that emotional side of letting go of this thing that you had worked so hard to build? [LISA]:
Yeah, I really appreciate you sharing your personal story, and my husband went through something similar with his chiropractic training, and had a practice, and after all $140,000 of investment in school, realized that he really wasn’t loving having a practice. And it is really, really hard to get real about something that doesn’t feel good, especially when you’ve invested a lot of time and money, and I’m so grateful that you are helping therapists and counselors and social workers and people that you know, really felt like they were clear on what their calling was, and then they have it, and they’re like, this isn’t fun, and to really not throw the baby out the bathwater. I think that is a great expression and it’s super helpful because it often is not so much about not loving what you thought you’d love, but not really loving how you’re doing it. [JOE]:
Yeah, and I think it’s really important to stop for a minute and be like, what parts of this do I really like? I was actually talking to a therapist last week who joined my GFR squad, which is really all for people that want to really get real about what doesn’t feel good in their life and just be in a community, held that way. We kind of all hold that intention of, we’re really on a mission here to feel better, to make changes, and so she was a new member and I reached out and I said, you know, I’d love to hear more of your story, and she was, ironically, a therapist who owned a clinic actually, and had a bunch of therapists that worked for her, and she had been winding down her hours so much. She was only doing therapy like, four to five days a week, but she still was miserable, and stopped really loving the thing that she really thought she did, which was therapy. And in our conversation, we realized that it wasn’t so much she doesn’t like therapy, she just didn’t like working the number of hours that she was, she didn’t like running the clinic and doing the administrative work, she didn’t like being on call. So, there were so many… after we talked, we saw there was multiple opportunities to just sort of change the way that she was doing business, which I know is what you help practitioners do, which is so important.
So I think that was a big thing for me, was to look at, oh my gosh, I love speaking and I’m so glad I had this experience of running my own events, and I’m kind of over that, you know, and I really love teaching, but I don’t like teaching the same thing over and over again. So that needs to change. And I love coaching one on one, but I’m feeling like I don’t have time to really be present with my clients the way that I want to. And so, you know, here I am now about six years from that decision. That was 2014, that math is not working exactly, but six, seven years from that decision, and I have a whole different business model in the way that I’m working with people. And I’m super excited that I can talk to people who are miserable, and sort of be the beacon of like, it does work out, I promise.[JOE]:
Yeah, it can be different. And I think that sometimes people think, I have to close down my whole practice, or I have to just completely stop doing things. But I would say, at least in my experience, that even some micro changes… so, I remember when I was doing supervision for newly licensed counselors, and it was a cash cow. I mean, I had set it up so that people paid an hourly amount – it was $30 to $40. But then, in Michigan, we could do a group and then I had a group of 16 people, but I would bring in a second therapist that I just paid 50 bucks an hour. And so, in one four-hour session, I’d make a few thousand dollars. And so, it was great. But it was from 4pm to 8:30pm, once a month, and I found month after month, I was just dreading it. And at that point, when I was still working at a community college, still had my counseling practice, bringing in that kind of extra couple thousand dollars a month was a huge difference in our family’s budget. But every month, I was just dreading it and would… the days would lead up to it, and then my wife would have to put the kids to bed, and over and over, I have noticed that when I see something like that, and I start to leave it, of course that’s going to disappoint people. There’s not a ton of supervisors up here in Northern Michigan. But I then was able to free up that emotional energy to work on other things. And so, whether it’s leveling up from one on one consulting, or from a mastermind group, or moving into areas that are less time sensitive, every time I’ve done it, I feel better. But there’s such kind of nervousness when you go into letting go of something. Have you found that too when you make those changes? Even within your business, I’m sure that you refine it every year as to what your interests are. [LISA]:
Absolutely. The letting go of things that you think are that you need, and you’re looking at the logic of it all, and it is super scary. I heard a great quote when I was getting ready for this interview this morning. I’m reading a book called The Illusion of Money, the author is Kyle Cease and he’s a former comedian turned transformational guru type person. And he said, chasing money is very expensive. I just love that, you know, it is. It’s so costly to make decisions motivated by money. And, you know, I think that it’s super important for… it’s super important to be conscious of that, the energy, like you said, it started to feel – I don’t know if you used this word, heavy, but that’s what I heard, because that’s what happens for me – things start to feel heavy. And like I look at my calendar and I look at my day, and I now I’m so in tune with this, like if something feels heavy when I look at it on my calendar, I need to really pay attention to that. We are programmed somehow that it is normal to suck it up and do lots of stuff that we don’t want to do. That this is just something that you have to do, and I completely reject that belief. [JOE]:
Yeah. I remember shortly after I left the community college, and so I was full time on my own, I was the president of the licensed professional counselors of Northern Michigan and we met every other month on a Friday, which I wasn’t working Fridays at the time. And I’m in this meeting, the first hour’s like networking, lots of fun, and then the second hour was this panel of people that were talking about mental health in the schools. I didn’t work in the schools. I think it’s important, but I really didn’t care, if I was being honest, but there’s principals, superintendents, therapists, they were talking about the schools. And I was there for about five minutes and I just thought, like, I don’t need this information. I’m my own boss now. And I just turned to the person next to me and said, you know, I’ve got a meeting I got to get to, I got to go. And that meeting was with myself. But it was just like, I’m gonna excuse myself, from the… I put myself in this situation, like, I don’t have to stay here. And it was so liberating to realize nobody’s making me be here, and nobody cares if I stay. And if they do, I don’t really care. [LISA]:
Exactly. And it’s reminded me of… so I have these 12 GFR commandments, and in short, it’s the 12 ways that my clients, my mission-based entrepreneurs, have been getting in their way for the 20 years that I’ve been coaching them. And I dwindled it down to just these 12 things. And the third one – so that’s commandment number three, GFR commandment number three – is don’t worry about being normal, proper, or polite and what you’re sharing just totally reminds me of that. And each of the commandments has what I call a confession question and it just really helps you like, kind of go inward and say, is this the one for me? Is this where I’m really needing to take a closer look? And so, the confession question for number three is where am I not speaking my truth? And I could just really feel like you had such a great you know, commandment number three, don’t worry about being normal, proper, or polite moment there, because it’s like, yeah, there’s so much external expectation and rules and regulations and things that fall under being polite and being proper. And that really, we allow to override our own inclinations, our own feelings, our own callings, and when we are our own boss, which all of your listeners are in some way, or many of them are in some way, it is super refreshing to be reminded that we are in charge, and we can speak our truth. This is not about being rude to people or hurting people’s feelings. But there is a big gap between being rude and hurting people’s feelings and the way that many of us are living and hiding and not saying the things. [JOE]:
I remember when I first started my private practice, and I just got an email actually that really represents that feeling of how many questions you have. This person emailed me and said, you know, now with COVID, how do I do all this online? Do I have to change my address? How do I do new marketing in my city? Do I keep my local address? Do I close my office? Do I have a virtual address? How do I jump into telehealth 100%? And how do I even market that? You know, these are the kind of things that we cover all the time in Next Level Practice. Next Level Practice is a membership community of over 400 clinicians starting and growing their private practices. So, if you are wanting to grow, I want you to sign up this August when we open up Next Level Practice again. On August 24th, we open it back up and I want you to join it. Head on over to practiceofthepractice.com/invite and you will get all the details about this amazing community, specifically for people starting and growing a private practice. Again, that’s practiceofthepractice.com/invite. [JOE]:
Yeah, well, I would love to kind of walk through someone’s experience with the GFR squad. So you get someone who is frustrated in their job, their life, like maybe sketch out, what are some of those initial pains that people often come in with, and then maybe just a couple bullet points of how the squad works with them to kind of change? Because I would love to kind of hear that process. [LISA]:
Yes. Oh, great. I love this. I’ve never been asked this question. So, one of my favorite examples is a gentleman who was a physical therapist but had a real passion for helping men in the sexual arena. And when he first started to try to branch out and do this business he made it very clinical, and about nutrition, and ways that they could be more healthy. He was really sort of skirting around what he really wanted to be talking about, which was erectile dysfunction, and those types of performance issues, and even more than that, just really how to be a better lover and make sure that you’re ready for all situations whenever you want to be. It is such an important topic and he was holding back, he realized. When I started talking about the GFR and the idea of speaking our truth, he really realized that, you know, I’m actually not saying the things that I want to say, like, I’m actually not being my real self and talking to these men the way that I… like, the raw, and gritty, and maybe even NC-17, rated R X, in a way that I want to speak to them. I’ve been like, keeping it PG-13 because I was worrying about being normal, proper, polite, like I was worrying about not wanting to turn anybody off. And so, he really… I love it because it’s such an early success story.
When I started really talking about GFR two years ago, it was like I just gave him some kind of big permission slip, which is a lot of what happens in the GFR squad, is there’s just this overarching permission that’s given to go for it, to be yourself, to say the things, to share the things you’re ashamed of, so that you now can feel seen for who you are and have confidence. And so, I just heard from him the other day, and he started his own YouTube channel, and he is talking about rock hard erections and he’s having a blast. And watching him is just so fun. And he’s like, so unassuming in his glasses, and he kind of looks like an account, like, a stereotypical account. He’s doing so well, and he’s really serving men, and he has a course that he created. And that’s just a great example of what happens when you can keep… when you have a space that you can share what you really want to be sharing, what you think that you’re afraid to share, or a way that you want to be that you’re afraid to be. If there’s a place that feels safe that you can do that, it’s actually like training wheels in a way, and that’s why I’m super excited about that example, because he’s now out there doing it, and he’s making money, and he’s getting ready to leave his PT practice.[JOE]:
So when people start to say, okay, I have something in me, I don’t feel like I’m being authentic, I want to get more real with how I speak and how I share with my audience, but I feel stuck as to where to start, like, how do I identify topics in myself that maybe I haven’t been being real? And then, where do you suggest people start practicing that? Is it Facebook Live? Is it a YouTube channel? Is it blog posts? So maybe take us through some of those technical things of how do you start to discover those messages you’ve been kind of hiding? Because I think sometimes we’re not aware of how we haven’t been being real. So how do we expose that? And then once we figure it out, where do we put that? [LISA]:
Perfect. So GFR commandment number nine – it’s just so relevant so I think this will be helpful to people – is know that if you have a specific mission or calling, there are people who need it. Now that sounds great, right? Okay, great, Lisa. Great. But here’s the confession question that really helps you dive in: if my mission was guaranteed to make money, what would I do? And then when you combine that, let’s just say in this example, with number three, the confession question where am I not speaking my truth, it’s like, okay, where would I speak my truth if my mission was guaranteed to make money. And honestly, all great marketing, and programs, and I believe, intentional evolution of business, starts with us first. It’s an inside out approach.
So that’s where I would suggest people start is just getting real about where are you holding yourself back? Where are you not having faith in your mission? And if you were to have faith, and you were to speak your truth, what would you say? And folks, that’s marketing. What would we say? We forget, we forget, in fact, you know, coming out with some new stuff that really helps people in this way, because I hate launches and I hate the whole idea. It’s so restrictive and it doesn’t feel fun, and so the first thing we’re starting with in this new thing we’re coming out with is like, what do you want to say? What’s your soapbox? If you had faith in yourself and you didn’t worry about what people thought, what would you say? And I would say, great. Figure out what that is. And then where do you want to say it? Do you like being on video? Do you like doing live video? Do you like writing? Is writing your passion? Do you like speaking and doing interviews like this? Give yourself permission to pick the ways to get out there, aka marketing strategies, that just feel good and fun, and there’s usually something for everybody, and sometimes people have a story like, I just hate all marketing or I hate all selling, but there’s usually something for everyone. So those are the steps that I would suggest.[JOE]:
It’s so funny when podcast guests overlap with each other when they don’t even know each other. So, the episode right before this is from Michael Hyatt’s Platform University. So, John, the head of that. I interviewed him yesterday and so that’ll be the podcast right before you. And he went into this whole thing about how to have a platform and why soap boxes were the cheapest and most available boxes in like the early 1900s. So, when people had a message, they would grab a soap box and stand on it and get that message out there. So, two podcasts in a row, talking soap box. [LISA]:
That’s so funny, and I’m all about that these days. I’m like, stand on your soap box, and figure out what your soap box is because that’s your fire. That’s the thing that’s gonna motivate you maybe to move past fears of getting on Facebook Live, that’s going to motivate you to get out there so you can help the people you want to help. [JOE]:
Oh, man. Okay, so then when people start to figure out kind of the soap box they want, I think that’s where a lot of internal fears start to come out. Fear of rejection, fear of people coming down on you, especially if you’re a trained professional, you know, are you going to look like you’re going against the licensing board, or all of those sorts of fears. How do you suggest that people work through those fears of being seen, the fears of being an imposter, all those kind of being paralyzed by perfection type fears? [LISA]:
I have discovered that confessing is the antidote to imposter syndrome. And when I say confessing, I talk about it in terms of sharing things that feel scary, sharing things that you’ve hid, sharing things that in the past, you felt embarrassed about, sharing things that you are worried that you’re going to be rejected. I’m so overwhelmed with gratitude for being able to talk about speaking your truth, and the idea of confessions. And I know it’s a loaded word, but I think that just makes it more potent. So is the F word. It’s like, what is it that you really need to share to have you feel seen? I mean, and you’re a therapist, you know better than me. I’m probably saying stuff that’s in some book somewhere. But this is my anecdotal experience of watching people share the things, and then not feeling like an imposter anymore, because now I’m sharing my truth and I’m seeing that I’m still standing, I haven’t died, people aren’t sending me hate mail. And now they feel more congruent, more in alignment.
So, start somewhere, baby steps, and I can’t emphasize this enough. So whatever baby step you identify, if you don’t do it, or feel like you can’t do it within like a reasonable amount of time, it’s not small enough. So, a good example is one of my clients has a retreat center in Sedona, and she wanted to start to do her own retreats. She was hosting other people’s retreats at this awesome retreat center she has but she hadn’t done her own retreats. And she’s like, she wants to do her own retreat, and she had this, I want to do it by December, and we talked about it and it’s gonna be three days, and this is gonna be the format, and it just wasn’t happening. It wasn’t happening. And she has a lot of wounding around her [unclear], she’s really into manifesting and she’s super great at it but she had a lot of rejection from her family. And so, she has a lot of resistance around putting herself out there. So, here’s what the baby step wound up being. She invited some girlfriends over from the local area and she did an evening gathering, just like had them over for wine and cheese kind of thing, and she wound up doing some of her material that she would do at her retreats, and they loved it. And now they’re like, I want more. Can we come back? Can we stay longer? And so, we didn’t see that baby step. We kept thinking, well, the week-long retreat’s too much, let’s make it three days. We didn’t really see like, oh, just invite some friends over and share the thing. And so, find that baby step that allows you to come out.
One of my other clients, she has a business where she helps couples with intimacy, and she’s a diabetic. And this is something she did not share. She does not share. So funny, right? Because she talks about sex and all these things that would normally intimidate other people. But the thing that she kept hiding was that she was a diabetic and just two days ago, she was interviewed… because of the pandemic, they were interviewing some local people, and she wound up sharing about being a diabetic and how that’s impacting her. And oh my gosh, like, she feels so relieved. Like, there was a pressure valve that was released. Something happens when you finally say the thing that you’re so worried about saying. So, you need to find a place. And so of course, we have the GFR squad that you can come, it’s a super low investment, a couple cups of coffee a month investment to be in a community that feels safe. But even if it’s not to the GFR squad, it’s like a friend, your journal, just find somewhere that you can begin to take those baby steps of saying the things that you really want to say and being who you really want to be.[JOE]:
Yeah, what do you think it does for people when they really can get effin real? What’s the transformation that you see? [LISA]:
I see, first and foremost, more availability for joy. Like, true happiness, contentment, peace, joy, like just titillated by their work, you know, just excited about what they get to show up for in their work. And after chasing money for many years, I am here to tell you that that doesn’t… you know, we all hear it, but until you actually, like, I don’t know, get it and see that it’s not it. I don’t know, I think there’s a quote from Jim Carrey that says, I wish everybody would get what they’ve always wanted, so they could see it’s not gonna make them happy. It truly does bring contentment, and money. That’s the ironic thing. It’s like, I see people surrender and let go of the thing that they thought they needed to do to get clients and then they get clients. And that’s the magic, I believe, of getting fucking real, is that you are giving yourself permission to finally be happy. And that happiness is not an externally driven payoff. It is an internally driven feeling, and then the payoff happens. [JOE]:
Yeah, I bet about weekly, I have a consulting client or someone in our Next Level Practice community that says, you know, I really hate Instagram, do I have to be on Instagram? I really hate Facebook. Do I have to be on Facebook? Or I hate blogging. Do I have to do that many blogs? And my answer almost every time is that life is too short to do things that you really don’t like doing. So why don’t we start with the things that you absolutely love. And if we do all of those really well, and then still things aren’t working, then we can go into the area that you hate, but most likely, if you do the things you love really well, that’s going to bring in the kind of clients that you really want to work with. [LISA]:
Yes. And I would say if they do the things that they really love, and it still doesn’t work, I would say before you go to the stuff that you hate, I would say let’s get real. Is that really what you love? And are you really saying what you want to say in those platforms? Or are you feeling like you’re hiding? Are you feeling inauthentic? Are you feeling like you’re watering down your message? Because that makes it not fun. [JOE]:
Oh, great point. Well, Lisa, the last question I always ask is, if every private practitioner in the world were listening right now, what would you want them to know? [LISA]:
First, I’d want them to know that I appreciate them. They’re answering the calling of the work that they’re doing. It’s so freakin important. Mental health is just so important and for it to come in lots of different packages, I think is really important. So just know that you are needed in your way that you’re doing it. And the next thing I’d want them to know is that they don’t need to compromise. This is GFR commandment number one. They don’t need to compromise, and I’m just going to leave it at that because I think… notice any resistance or reasons or excuses that come up when I say that and just be willing to enquire. It’s like, ultimately, the mission driven business owner – maybe you don’t see yourself as a business owner or entrepreneur, but that mission driven person needs to be willing to do their own work. Not just their own work like everybody needs to do their own mental health, but if you’re a mental health professional, you need to make your mental health a top priority. So that’s where GFR commandment number one, it says don’t compromise and then the question is, what am I tolerating? It’s such a great revealing one, so… I know this is not a short quippy final thought here, but I think it is actually the most important thing that we’ve said the whole time which is, make yourself your most important client. And when you don’t do that for a while you will notice. You will notice, there will be a backlog, and so if you can make a regular appointment with yourself, it’s really going to help your business. [JOE]:
Oh, that’s so awesome. Lisa, you have a free download for our audience with the 12 commandments – will you talk a little bit more about that and how they can access that? [LISA]:
Yes, I’m super excited for you all to have all 12. And I’m here to tell you, you don’t need to do all 12, it is not a 12-step program. I’m going to give you a little process that you do when you get your download that helps you just zero in on the one that’s the most up for you right now that will actually give you the biggest relief and shift. So you can get all 12 at GFR.life/12c and then when you do that, I’m going to give you like a two minute way, some instruction, on how to use them on a day to day basis or a weekly basis. If this is at all resonating with you and you want to dabble in getting real, this is your roadmap and it will lead to you being more joyful and having more impact with the way that you want to have impact in the world. [JOE]:
Lisa, thank you so much for being on the Practice of the Practice podcast. [LISA]:
Thank you so much, Joe. It was so great. [JOE]:
Well, thank you so much for listening today. I hope you’re going to take some action, you’re going to get real, and you are going to work on something interesting. Also, don’t forget that Next Level Practice is opening on August 24th. Make sure you go get your invite over at practiceofthepractice.com/invite if you’re ready to take your practice to the next level. This is the membership community if you are starting and growing your practice. If you’re not yet at six figures, this is the exact thing for you. And it’s only 99 bucks a month, you get access to so many different things. Just the discounts we get through TherapyNotes and through Brighter Vision pays for this thing, as well as the logo and all sorts of things we do to help you. So, thank you so much for letting me into your ears and into your brain. In the next podcast on Thursday, we’re going to be learning about how to get national media attention. So, make sure that you check that out. I’ll talk to you soon. Bye.
Special thanks to the band Silence is Sexy for your intro music; we really like it. This podcast is designed to provide accurate, authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is given with the understanding that neither the host, the publisher, or the guests are rendering legal, accounting, clinical or other professional information. If you want a professional, you should find one.