Nicole Fryling Shares 5 Steps to Overcome Unmet Expectations | FP 41

Share this content
Nicole Fryling Shares 5 Steps to Overcome Unmet Expectations | FP 41

Have you struggled with unmet expectations? How can you overcome these unmet expectations? What can you do to prepare yourself for future unmet expectations?

In this podcast episode, Whitney Owens speaks to Nicole Fryling about overcoming unmet expectations.

Meet Nicole Fryling

Nicole Fryling is a licensed professional counselor in the state of Michigan and a graduate of Grand Rapids Theological Seminary, where she specialized in trauma and relationship counseling. She finds energy in her work as a counselor when she is working with women who feel stuck and those wanting to restore hope for a better, more enriching life. She is also passionate about coming alongside those who want to incorporate their spirituality and relationship with God in their healing journey.

Blending her passions for entrepreneurship and counseling, Nicole started Restorative Counseling Center where she offers both in-person and online counseling. In addition to working with issues like anxiety, depression, and relationship struggles, Nicole also enjoys working with overwhelmed professional women.

Visit Nicole’s website, connect on Facebook and Instagram.

In This Podcast

Summary

  • Nicole’s practice
  • How Nicole came to this work of unmet expectations
  • The 5 steps to overcoming unmet expectations
  • Nicole’s experience in the mastermind group
  • Resting in our faith

Nicole’s practice

I just felt like God was calling me in that direction.

After grad school, in early 2019, Nicole went straight into her own solo private practice called Restorative Counseling Center. In choosing a name, there’s a lot that goes into it and Nicole was really drawn to the word ‘restore’. It comes back to someone looking to restore what has been lost in their life and also feels like a word that Nicole correlates with faith and God restoring us.

Nicole did her internship at two private practices, both of which were solo private practices. This allowed her to not only focus on the clinical work but also to have conversations about the business side with her supervisors. She really took advantage of being able to see what systems were in place and what challenges they saw. Nicole had been a business owner, in various capacities, for 10 years so the business process part of it didn’t scare her much but she still had to pray about it and figure out if a solo private practice was the best fit for her.

How Nicole came to this work of unmet expectations

Seeing the effects of disappointment and unmet expectations underlying a lot of what she was seeing in her practice, along with reading the works of Lysa TerKeurst, is what led Nicole to this work. In her practice, Nicole felt like a lot of what she was seeing was relational. Typically, we enter situations with expectations which sets us up for possible disappointment as there’s a good chance that those expectations won’t be met at the level of which we set them up. We set goals and a vision, which is really helpful because we need to be reaching for something but, depending on background, trauma, or anything else we’re bringing into the situation, it’s going to affect how we feel when those expectations aren’t met.

The 5 steps to overcoming unmet expectations

  1. Grieve the unmet expectations – Take a minute to acknowledge it, recognize what happened, grieve the loss of what you thought would be.
  2. Identify what you can own – Look at what part you played in the situation. Even if you can’t control what happened, you can control how you respond.
  3. Look for a lesson – Take the opportunity to look for the lesson that you can learn or that God has for you in these unwanted circumstances.
  4. Decide to move on – It’s not easy but it is a choice to not let this define us and move on to the next thing that God has for us.
  5. Expect the unexpected – Use the strength that you’ve now built for the next time that there is unmet expectation or disappointment.

Nicole’s experience in the Mastermind Group

I’m definitely more feeling like growing is still in my future but just having to adjust our timelines sometimes too can be hard, especially for those of us that are planners. But I loved having the support of the community in the mastermind and definitely having you to kind of go to, and someone who had kind of walked that road before was really helpful.

From the get-go, Nicole always had the goal of adding clinicians to her practice at some point and when she heard about the Mastermind that I was running, she felt that she was at that point. She started the Mastermind in January 2020 and, with my encouragement, put out an ad there and started to interview. She felt ready because she was following my helpful steps and she had the support of people in the group but, as she started interviewing clinicians, she realized that it was more of a challenging process than she had thought.

Nicole had this expectation that the right person was just going to come along pretty easily and at the same time, also had an expectation that she was ready to move into a larger space. Nicole had decided on someone to hire but that person changed their mind. This along with not being able to find the right space in her community left her feeling disappointed and discouraged, and really questioning if this was the right direction.

Within a couple of weeks, COVID-19 hit and Nicole was affirmed that this was where God was going and this was the pause that he was putting on it. It was comforting in the sense that she could see God’s direction and why he wasn’t allowing certain things to happen but then had to wrestle through the rest of this COVID time through the rest of the mastermind. Nicole had to shift the direction her practice was going, had to shift her focus and just had to respond to what was going on around us.

Resting in our faith

I can think over and over again of all the expectations I’ve had for my practice that weren’t met but then I also think of all the times God did something greater. When we feel like we’re taking all of the right steps, it can make it even harder when those expectations aren’t met. That’s where we can rest in our faith. Sometimes we won’t be able to see the lesson or the reward right away but we can have that faith to know that God’s got a reason or something better or different planned.

If you are new to Faith-Based Private Practice, click here to sign up to receive helpful emails.

If you have and established Faith-Based Private Practice, click here to sign up to receive helpful emails

Useful Links:

Meet Whitney Owens

Whitney Ownens | Build a faith-based practiceWhitney is a licensed professional counselor and owns a growing group practice in Savannah, Georgia. Along with a wealth of experience managing a practice, she also has an extensive history working in a variety of clinical and religious settings, allowing her to specialize in consulting for faith-based practices and those wanting to connect with religious organizations.

Knowing the pains and difficulties surrounding building a private practice, she started this podcast to help clinicians start, grow, and scale a faith-based practice. She has learned how to start and grow a successful practice that adheres to her own faith and values. And as a private practice consultant, she has helped many clinicians do the same.

Thanks For Listening!

Feel free to leave a comment below or share this podcast on social media by clicking on one of the social media links below! Alternatively, leave a review on iTunes and subscribe!

Faith in Practice is part of the Practice of the Practice Podcast Network, a network of podcasts that are changing the world. To hear other podcasts like Empowered and Unapologetic, Bomb Mom, Imperfect Thriving, Marketing a Practice or Beta Male Revolution, go to practiceofthepractice.com/network.

Podcast Transcription

[WHITNEY]:
The Faith in Practice podcast is part of the Practice of the Practice podcast network. A network of podcasts seeking to help you start, grow, and scale your practice. To hear other episodes like the Imperfect Thriving podcast, Bomb Mom podcast, Beta Male Revolution, or Empowered and Unapologetic, go to practiceofthepractice.com/network.

Welcome to the Faith in Practice podcast. I’m your host, Whitney Owens, recording live from Savannah, Georgia. I’m a licensed professional counselor, group practice owner and private practice consultant. In each week, through a personal story or amazing interviews, I will help you learn how to start, grow, and scale your private practice from a faith-based perspective. I’m going to show you how to have an awesome, faith-based practice without being cheesy or fake. You too can have a successful practice, make lots of money, and be true to yourself.

Today on the podcast, we’re going to talk about expectations. And boy, not only in our business, but in life in general. Expectations are so difficult. We set expectations, we set goals, they’re not met, we change those, we get disappointed. There’s just so much that goes into that. And so, as I think about expectations, a big one that I put on myself has to do with running. If you’ve been listening to the podcast for very long, you know that I love going on runs, even in hot Savannah. I have to get out early in the morning to be able to get those runs in. But I have expectations when I go on a run; I have a certain amount of time that I want to hit, or I have a certain distance that I want to run, or have certain songs I want to listen to, or I want to feel a certain way while I run. And all those are really great. It’s really great to have goals. So, use this analogy to your business as I talk about running, because running – literally, running a business, right?

So, one day when I was on one of my runs, I had a goal. I had a certain time that I want to complete my miles in, and I typically go on a three mile run around the neighborhood; I have my little route that I go on and I have a time that I want to hit. And so, while I’m on my run, as my app yells out the time to me, I just feel this discouragement, and for some reason, it felt like a big deal. And I thought, oh, that was a terrible time. How am I ever going to hit my goal of such and such amount of time in three miles, if that’s my first mile? And so, I was at that place of, what do I do now? Do I give up and walk? Do I say, it’s okay, and I just accept it and then I run at a leisurely pace? Or do I say, screw that, I’m running harder, and I’m meeting that goal? And if you also have been listening to the podcast for very long, you know that I’m the one who said the third thing, that I’m going to run even harder, and so that’s exactly what I did. I ran even harder for miles two, and miles three, and was able to meet that goal, and was very happy about that. But it’s the idea of expectations that can really wear us out, or really take us far. And sometimes we do have to adjust those expectations for various reasons and that’s just part of life. And sometimes it’s part of God taking us where we need to go that we have this idea in mind, and it changes.

I just interviewed someone on another podcast you’re going to listen to in a few weeks about that idea that sometimes we have a plan and God changes it. So, I love this podcast today because Nicole talks about ways that we can handle life when expectations are not met. And another thing I love about doing this podcast is, yeah, I help you guys with business, but you know what? The emotional part of being a business owner is real, and the spiritual component behind that too. And so, I love that we can talk about not just how to run a successful business, but we can also talk about the mind, the heart, the soul behind the work we do. So, this is one of those episodes where I feel like the words that Nicole brings will help you know how to be a better business owner when your expectations aren’t met. So take some time to listen to the words she says and think about the ways that your expectations aren’t met and maybe ways you need to change your mindsets and look for something else because we’re all needing to do that as practice owners. So, this episode is number 41. Nicole Fryling; she’s going to share five steps to overcoming unmet expectations.

Today on the podcast, we have Nicole Fryling. She is a licensed professional counselor in the state of Michigan and a graduate of Grand Rapids Theological Seminary where she specialized in trauma and relationship counseling. She finds energy in her work as a counselor when she’s working with women who are stuck, and those wanting to restore hope for a better, more enriching life. She’s passionate about coming alongside those who want to incorporate their spirituality, and relationship with God in their healing journey. Blending her passions for entrepreneurship in counseling, Nicole started Restorative Counseling Center where she offers both in person and online counseling. In addition to working with issues like anxiety, depression, and relationship struggles, she enjoys working with overwhelmed professional women. Thanks for coming on the show today, Nicole.

[NICOLE]:
Thanks for having me, Whitney.

[WHITNEY]:
Yeah, yeah. So why don’t you share with the audience today a little bit more about your journey, how you decided to start a private practice, and kind of how you came about the name and what it means to you?

[NICOLE]:
Yeah, so I graduated from grad school in 2018. And as I was finishing up grad school, I was just exploring the normal opportunities that are out there. Did I want to do agency work or nonprofit work or private practice? When I first went into grad school, I kind of had private practice in the back of my mind, so I explored that pretty heavily. And I also have been a business owner for ten years now in various capacities, and so that part of it didn’t scare me. So, I knew that that was an option, I could kind of go out on my own. So, I spoke with a lot of different people and decided to go that route, and just go fresh out of grad school into my own practice. So, I have my own solo private practice, called Restorative Counseling Center. I started at the very beginning of 2019, so about a year and a half ago. And Restorative Counseling, the name… of course, there’s a lot that goes into choosing a name. Looking at what’s already taken, thinking about what your vision is, and just really being drawn to the word ‘restore’, to come back to maybe what has been lost, or what someone is looking to restore in their life. And that also just feels like a word that I correlate with faith, and God restoring us, and all of that. So that’s kind of where the name came from.

[WHITNEY]:
That’s so great. Was it kind of scary to… a lot of people are in another practice or an agency and then they start their own after that – was it scary for you to start your own practice solo and like, how did you figure out what to do?

[NICOLE]:
Well, for my internship, I interned in two private practices, both of which were solo private practices. So I spent a lot of time in internship, not only… obviously focusing on clinical work, but I also had a lot of conversations with my supervisors about the business side of what they did, because I kind of knew that maybe that was an option for me. So that was the time that I really took advantage of being able to see what systems they had in place, how they started, what challenges they saw. And then it definitely was a little bit scary because I had some people who were well established practice owners in the area, and other people, tell me not to start my own solo private practice right out of grad school. So, I really had to pray about it, talk about it with my husband, figure out if it was the best fit for us. But I just felt like God was calling me in that direction. And again, I’ve been a business owner for ten years, and so the business process part of it didn’t scare me a whole lot.

[WHITNEY]:
Well, I appreciate what you’re saying here about listening to other people’s direction, but ultimately doing what you want to do, or not really what you want to do, I guess, but what you feel like God’s calling you to because in our line of work…

[NICOLE]:
Counselors love to give advice.

[WHITNEY]:
Right. And so, we’re surrounding ourselves with therapists, and everyone’s got an idea of what you need to be doing in your business or if you need to have a business, or what to do. And so I love that you listened, but then you went to your husband, and you prayed about it, and you did what you felt like God was calling you to, which ultimately he’s blessed. So that’s a really good point that you’re making there.

[NICOLE]:
Yeah.

[WHITNEY]:
So, I love our topic today because I think it’s really important for everyone, no matter where they are in their practice journey, to talk about when our expectations aren’t met. And so, I want to kind of go ahead and start jumping into that. You have this awesome blog that we’re kind of looking at here, and other information that you’ve been putting out on this topic of being able to speak, I guess, to the soul, you know, when we’re feeling that we have these expectations. So, do you want to kind of talk about how you came to this work of unmet expectations?

[NICOLE]:
Yeah, so I felt like a lot of what I was seeing in my practice, a lot of it was relational. I’ve done a lot of writing too on relational disappointment. But really, the idea that we typically enter into whether it’s a relationship or a job or a situation, with expectations, and that sort of sets us up for a possible disappointment, because the chances of those expectations being met at the level of which we set them up, there’s a good chance that might not happen. So, a lot of people that I was talking to were finding themselves with these unmet expectations. I also have read a lot of Lysa TerKeurst’s work, I don’t know if you’re familiar with her, that she talks a lot about disappointment in one of her books, and things like that. And so just seeing the effects of disappointment and unmet expectations underlying a lot of what I was seeing in my practice.

[WHITNEY]:
Yeah, I’m just hearing you talk about it and I’m thinking how often we have expectations that are like unconscious by the way we were raised, or things that we’re expecting. I was thinking about that when you’re in couples because we get into marriage having expectations of our spouse that we don’t even realize we have. But I’m guessing we do the same with our private practice, that we have all these expectations of what our practice is going to look like one day, or how it’s going to start, or I’m going to have a group, or I’m going to do this, not even realizing that we’ve put this in front of ourselves.

[NICOLE]:
Absolutely. And some of that can come from, you know, we set goals and a vision, which is really helpful. We need to be reaching for something. But, when we have these expectations, let’s say starting a fresh private practice, okay, I’m going to be full in six months, or I’m going to be full in a year, I’m going to be full in eight weeks, or whatever these expectations are, when those aren’t met, depending like you said on background, or trauma, or anything else that we’re bringing into the situation, it’s gonna affect how we feel when those expectations aren’t met.

[WHITNEY]:
Yeah. So, you shared with me before the episode, there’s five different steps. So, I want to go through each of those as we try to figure out what to do when our expectations aren’t met. So, if you could kind of walk through those for us.

[NICOLE]:
Absolutely. So, the first one is to grieve. Grieving those unmet expectations. And this can, I mean, there’s a whole spectrum of grief and even the small things in our life, I think that we need to take time to grieve those. And as therapists, we know how important it is for ourselves and our clients to name their emotions, to sit with them for an appropriate amount of time. So not pushing away that grief that’s there, taking a minute to acknowledge that, recognizing what happened, grieve the loss of what you thought would be. Like I say, you know, we live in this culture of kind of pick yourself up by your bootstraps, like, just move on, it’s all okay. And I think again, we know as therapists how important it is to identify those emotions and truly sit with that grief for a moment.

[WHITNEY]:
Yeah, I think sometimes we feel almost embarrassed or childish to grieve, like, oh, well, that’s not as big a loss as it has to be, and so we make it not a big deal. But really, we need to be grieving that. Do you see that?

[NICOLE]:
Absolutely. So yeah, I think it’s important no matter the weight of what’s been lost, to really grieve what has been lost. And I think, you know, we’re recording this during COVID time, and even just I think we’ve done a better job of that maybe recently, because we’ve lost so much. And maybe just using those kind of skills that we’ve developed during this time to grieve all of the things that have been lost, I mean, hopefully we can take that process with us.

[WHITNEY]:
Yeah, very good point. So, the first step is grief. What do you have next?

[NICOLE]:
So, the second step would be to identify what you can own. And so, a question I asked a lot of my clients is, what can you own? So, when we look at situations, we can look at what part we played in the situation. And so sometimes, bad things happen to good people and things just don’t work out sometimes how we want them to and maybe there isn’t a part that we played in that. But I think it’s important to at least evaluate that, take a look at is there something that I contributed to the situation? And if nothing else, we get to control our response to the situation. So even if we can’t control what happened, we can control how we respond. And so really, just like we’re taking a moment to sit with our grief, we can take a moment to sit with what can I own in what just happened.

[WHITNEY]:
Yeah, like that. And I see that with my clients, too, that a lot of times we feel like we can’t control anything when expectations aren’t met, like, oh, I have to succumb to this. But instead, finding ways to be empowered, you know, and even taking time to pray that okay, God, like, this is what I thought you were gonna do. I think, so many times, [unclear]. This is what I thought you were gonna do and it didn’t happen. So, what do you want to do? And how do I move forward?

[NICOLE]:
Yeah, I think that’s a good point, to do these things in prayer even, whether it’s the grief and lamenting maybe. And also, just having that conversation with God, you know, open my eyes to what I can do or how I can respond, or… so, I definitely think that that’s a great point.

[WHITNEY]:
Yeah. All right. The third one here is looking for a lesson.

[NICOLE]:
Yeah. So, Lisa TerKeurst, who I mentioned earlier, she has this phrase, ‘look for the lesson’. So we can be tempted to kind of sit in, kind of dwell, or wallow, or sit in that self-pity, but really taking the opportunity to look for the lesson that perhaps you can learn or that God has for you in these unwanted circumstances. And make mental note of how you can contribute to maybe a more successful outcome in the future. Again, so you’re kind of taking into consideration what you can own after you’ve done that reflective work, and then looking for the lesson that God has for you in that circumstance.

[WHITNEY]:
Yeah, that’s great. All right, so then the fourth one here is decide to move on.

[NICOLE]:
Yep. And so that’s a decision. It says, decide to move on. It’s not easy, but it’s a choice, we have a choice to kind of move on. And again, this is going to vary a lot depending on what the circumstance and situation is. But this goes back to kind of taking control of what we can own. And so, after we’ve appropriately processed through grieving, looking at what we can own, and looking for the lesson, we have a choice then to not let this define us and to move on to the next thing that God has for us.

[WHITNEY]:
Yes, which I’ve noticed a lot of times ends up being better than whatever I originally expected, right?

[NICOLE]:
Yes, I think many of us can relate to that. As a planner, as an enneagram six, as all of those things, I can definitely have my own agenda, my own list, my own expectations, but so often, or I should say always, what God has is so much better.

[WHITNEY]:
That’s right. You just used your CBT there, [unclear]. Okay, and then tell the last one.

[NICOLE]:
Yep. So, number five, expect the unexpected. I think most of us can probably realize, at this point in our lives, that there’s going to be disappointment, and that we’re gonna have expectations that don’t turn out how we thought that they would. So, this isn’t gonna be the last time that that happens. We live in a broken world with broken people, it’s going to continue to happen. And so, using the strength that we’ve built during whatever trial, circumstance, or situation we just went through, to use that to build our strength for the next time that there is unmet expectation or disappointment.

[WHITNEY]:
Yeah, so Nicole, we’ve known each other for, I don’t know, six months, seven months now. And so, Nicole has been in my mastermind group where a group of like-minded individuals come together, and we have a common goal. And so, the mastermind group that Nicole was a part of, we had the goal of adding clinicians to our practice. And so, the goal, by the end of the group, was to have at least one or two clinicians added to the practice. Of course, COVID-19 came in there, so a lot of our expectations were not met. So, it kind of made things kind of crazy. But we wanted to give her an opportunity to share a little bit about her experience in the mastermind, because it really relates to what we’re talking about. And I think, for a lot of us in our practice, we can have expectations of what our practice will be, and then how do we like move forward from that. So, I’d love for you to kind of share your story about that experience.

[NICOLE]:
Yeah, thanks. Kind of from the get-go I think I always had a goal that I would add clinicians at some point. And so, as I heard about the mastermind that you had, I was at that point where I felt like I was at a good position to start adding clinicians. I was probably two thirds of the way full of what I wanted to see as far as client load and felt like I was making some good referral relationships. I’m all cash pay, so I was really focused on making referral relationships. So, I felt like I was at a good point. So, I started that mastermind, I think we started in January of 2020, and started to take some steps, definitely with your encouragement, to put an ad out there and start to interview. And, you know, I kind of just felt like, okay, like I’m following these steps and putting this out there. Whitney’s got these great, helpful steps in place. I had the support of people in the group. So, I felt ready. And as I started to interview clinicians, I realized that it was definitely more of a challenging process than I thought because again, I have this expectation that this right person is just going to come along pretty easily maybe. And so, as I started interviewing and was challenged by some of those people that kind of came through the door, maybe not being who I thought they would be, I did decide on someone to hire. And at the same time, another expectation that I had was that I was ready to move into a larger space. But I just kept hitting wall after wall after wall with trying to find new space in my community. And it was one of those moments that I was like, God, I feel like this is what you want, but I am just hitting roadblock after roadblock.

I extended an invite to someone to come work for me, who seemed very excited, and then after thinking it over the weekend, decided not to come work for me. And that was pretty hard because I had an expectation and I also had feedback from her that made me feel like she was going to come work for me. And so, by the end of this weekend where she wrote to me and told me she had changed her mind, and then I still wasn’t finding space, I was definitely disappointed and discouraged, and really questioning, was I not hearing God? Maybe this isn’t the right direction. I know you and I had a conversation about that.

And then I would say probably within – I’d have to look at the timeline, but probably within a couple of weeks, COVID hit. And I was affirmed, I think, in where God was going and kind of the pause that he was putting on that. I kind of saw the reasoning behind that. So that was comforting in the sense of I could see God’s direction and why he wasn’t allowing certain things to happen. But then I kind of had to wrestle through the rest of kind of this COVID time, through the rest of the mastermind. I definitely started to question whether I was supposed to grow into a group. And I had to shift, I had to shift the direction my practice was going, I had to shift where my focus was at, just to respond to what was going on around us. And I’m still wrestling through that, although I’m definitely more feeling like growing is still in my future. But just having to adjust our timelines sometimes too can be hard, especially for those of us that are planners. But I loved having the support of the community in the mastermind, and definitely having you to kind of go to and someone who had kind of walked that road before was really helpful.

[WHITNEY]:
Well, thank you. I’m glad that you are part of the group and that I could be that in your life; that’s always an honor for me. And getting to see you get strong through it, and that you stuck with what you felt like God was doing in your life and moved forward in that. And I appreciate your vulnerability here because I kind of, I can hear some of the pain and I think we all feel that, like, I feel like a punch in the gut when I hear you talking about this person that you offered it to, and then they come back and discourage us. I always say that hiring is like dating – we interview and then we say hey, are you ready to like, go steady or make this serious? And they’re like, see you later. And you’re like, oh, it’s the worst.

[NICOLE]:
Oh, yeah.

[WHITNEY]:
And even hearing your story, this is, like you said, we live in a broken world. And this is private practice too like, I can think over and over again of all the expectations I’ve had for my practice, and all the times they weren’t met. But then I can also think of all the times God did something greater. And just like you said, like, looking back now you’re seeing that God was gracious to you in putting the pause on this, and I love that you’re able to kind of look back and see that but you’re also doing your steps, like, you’re doing the grieving that happened when… at that time, you grieved what was going on, if you questioned what God was doing and moving forward, and so I really appreciate you being so vulnerable with us.

[NICOLE]:
Yes, yep, you’re welcome. I think especially – I was just thinking as you were talking too – when we feel like we’re taking all the right steps, like, okay, I’m doing my research. I’m in this mastermind. I’m following the steps that, for instance, you had had as far as hiring. And then I think that sometimes can make it even harder when those expectations aren’t met, because we feel like we’re doing everything “right”. And so, I think that’s where, thankfully we can rest in our faith. And sometimes we won’t be able to see the lesson right away or we won’t be able to see the reward right away. But when we can have that faith to just know that, okay, God’s got something better, or different, or a reason. And I’m thankful that I didn’t jump into new space and that… I could probably say, I’m thankful I didn’t hire because in our area, and as many people, a lot of new [unclear] have really slowed. So, I just see his timing. His timing is always perfect. And so, I’m thankful that I can rest in that faith.

[WHITNEY]:
It’s so true. I am remembering when I was living out in Colorado before I got to Georgia, and my husband was finishing up with his masters of divinity and we were in school and of course, we started trying to have a baby thinking it would take a little while and we were very blessed to get pregnant immediately. And I ended up having my baby as he’s like doing his dissertation and all this stuff all at the same time. And he was applying for jobs and we felt kind of the crunch, like, we just had a newborn, we got to find a job. He applied for jobs for 18 months. It took forever and we ended up staying in Colorado an extra year after he graduated, because he couldn’t find work. And every single time, you know, oh, let’s do an interview and you would think, oh, this is it. And I remember one time just being in this place of prayer, and journaling, and I just knew that I knew this was the job, like, we had these mutual connections. I was like, no way this would have come about if God hadn’t done this, yada yada. Oh, and then they hired somebody else, I was like, what? It was like you were saying, I was like, did I miss it? Did I miss the mark? Did I hear God’s voice wrong? And then you start to question, I mean, honestly, I questioned God’s existence for a moment in time, like, what is going on here? And then this job here in Savannah opened up and James says to me, my husband, James, he says, oh, I applied for this job in Savannah and I was thinking, you’re not getting that job. That’s too good a church. I’ve heard of that church before. That’s a great place to work. Like, they’re gonna want someone with a lot of experience, not just out of his master’s, yada yada. But it’s like God had this plan and it couldn’t have been a more perfect fit for him and his gifts and this church and us, and he just… kind of like the Garth Brooks song, sometimes you thank God for unanswered prayers.

[NICOLE]:
Right. Yeah. I love that story.

[WHITNEY]:
So, anyway, that’s a good one. That’s a good one, yeah. Bringing Garth Brooks into the Faith in Practice podcast, that’s awesome.

[NICOLE]:
Right.

[WHITNEY]:
Well, thank you for sharing that story. And I think a lot of people, like I said, are gonna resonate with what you’re kinda sharing in here, and these tips are really important because when we’re in that place of unmet expectations, we forget to go back. And so, I think this will be a good episode for people to remember when they’re at that place, or even for myself to go back and look at that. So, you have a freebie for everyone today, a PDF here, right?

[NICOLE]:
I do.

[WHITNEY]:
Tell me about that.

[NICOLE]:
Yeah, so it’s called a Path to Peace, and this is a resource that I created probably a few weeks into the Coronavirus pandemic. As I was trying to process through everything that was going on, I was just continually brought back to Philippians 4:4-9. And I thought I was going to just write a blog post on that. And as I started writing, I just had kind of pages and pages of notes and content. And so, I decided it ended up being four blog posts and videos, and then I created this resource that kind of sums it all up. And it’s just been helpful for myself, it’s been really helpful for my clients. And I shared it last week on another blog, or another podcast with other business owners. It’s just been a helpful tool to work toward that peace that we all desire from God in times of uncertainty. And I think just as we look at unmet expectations, we can be sometimes rattled, and so there’s a lot of unknown and uncertainty in that. So, I thought this might be a helpful resource.

[WHITNEY]:
Yeah. That’ll be great. Well, I thank you so much. I already kind of looked at it before the recording, it was beautiful and really good information. So, thank you for putting that together for us. So, if somebody wants to get in touch with you, hear more about your practice, how do they get in touch with you?

[NICOLE]:
Yeah, so my website is restorativecc.com. I’m also on Facebook at Restorative Counseling Center, and then on Instagram @Nicole.Fryling.

[WHITNEY]:
Perfect. And Nicole, last question I ask everyone: what does every Christian counselor need to know?

[NICOLE]:
I think that they need to know that they’re called by God to do the work that he has for them, and that he equips the called. And so even when things don’t work out how we think they’re going to, that he has an ultimate better plan for that that’s within that calling.

[WHITNEY]:
Thank you. I just appreciate the way that you integrate your faith so beautifully. And it comes out in your personality and being with you. And so, I appreciate that you kind of brought that to the table today for this audience.

[NICOLE]:
Yeah. Thanks for having me, and thanks for the work that you’re doing in the private practice community. I think this is something that a lot of us were either actively searching for it or didn’t even know we needed. It’s just a way to incorporate our faith into what we do, and on the business side of things, so I appreciate that.

[WHITNEY]:
Well, it’s my honor. And you know, when God’s gonna do something, you better listen, you know, so I tried to… I tried to run away from the Faith in Practice consulting idea for months and God kept calling me back and as I listened to him, he’s done some really great things. I’m just fortunate to be a part of it. So, thank you for being a part of the community too.

[NICOLE]:
Thank you.

[WHITNEY]:
Thank you for listening to the Faith in Practice podcast. If you love this podcast, please rate and review on iTunes or your favorite podcast player. If you liked this episode and want to know more, check out the Practice of the Practice website. Also, there you can learn more about me, options for working together such as individual and group consulting, or just shoot me an e-mail [email protected]. We’d love to hear from you.

This podcast is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. This is given with the understanding that neither the host, the Practice of the Practice, or the guests, are providing legal, mental health, or other professional information. If you need a professional, you should find one.