How did you launch your big idea to empower women? What business mindset shifts need to happen? How do you understand your ideal target market?
In this podcast episode, Joe Sanok speaks with Veronica Cisneros about launching her big idea from Slow Down School.
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Veronica is a licensed marriage and family therapist, motivational speaker, mother of three and wife of her beloved husband of 20 years. Through personal experience, she has defeated life’s challenges by leaning into fear unapologetically. She’s taught hundreds of women how to take ownership of their lives, lean into fear and let go of judgement. However, this is not a big enough impact and she learned to empower the millions of women worldwide who suffer. She focuses on creating true change, encouraging women to no longer compromise themselves in order to meet the needs of others.
In This Podcast
In this podcast episode, Joe Sanok speaks with Veronica Cisneros about launching her big idea that helps women become empowered and unapologetic.
What did your career look like before?
Veronica was in a phase of being stuck and allowing self-doubt to control her. She thought she had to follow everyone else’s path and stay in a little box. For her, that meant working in a hospital and earning very little. She was stuck in the mindset of “this is how it’s supposed to be” with her insecurities telling her that she had to stay in the job as she couldn’t make it on her own.
Fast forward to when she started listening to Joe’s podcast right from the beginning and she slowly started considering the idea of doing something different. But it was a consulting phone call with Joe that really helped her make the switch and encouraged her to do something outside the norm.
When did the big idea take shape for you?
Veronica joined one of the Practice of the Practice mastermind classes which is where she realised that there are other clinicians out there doing great things and doing things that aren’t what they’d been trained to do. As therapists, we can impact so many more people when we step out of my comfort zones. Veronica took a step back and considered what it is that she really wanted to do. That was to work with women and empower them.
Why do you care so much about empowering women?
She was there where most of her clients are. With one month away from a divorce, she thought “what am I going to do?” Her titles and roles of being a mother and wife were being stripped and without them, she needed to answer the question “who am I really?”
Now in her practice, she sees women at this extreme level of anxiety and depression and wants them to know that they don’t need to suffer silently. She thought that she doesn’t want to wait until they’re at that point. She wanted to catch them before they really need therapy and empower women from all over.
How did you start to understand your ideal client?
Veronica says she really had to listen. She knew what she needed when she was going through her own struggle. But then coaching with Joe helped challenge her to really listen to the audience and take actions to do so. By starting a Facebook group and reaching out, she was able to listen and ask questions.
Slow Down School helped enormously in the creative process. It truly allowed her to connect with what she’s meant to do in life. All these ideas started coming to her during this time out. She was really filling up the journal with all these ideas.
The joy of slow down school is that it pulls you back so that you are better able to reengage and allow ideas come to the surface.
When she got home she was able to go ahead with a game plan. And was able to implement everything and take action.
Take the leap and step into a level of vulnerability. Take in a new life. Don’t stay on the hamster wheel. Embrace the voice that’s telling you to do something different.
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Meet Joe Sanok
Joe Sanok helps counselors to create thriving practices that are the envy of other counselors. He has helped counselors to grow their businesses by 50-500% and is proud of all the private practice owners that are growing their income, influence, and impact on the world. Click here to explore consulting with Joe.
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I am so excited about today’s episode. I hope that your new year is going awesome. However, you celebrate the holidays, I hope that went amazing for you as well. Just keep up the work. 2020 is going to be amazing, find the, excuse me, that cough. Anyone that’s been watching my Facebook lives, you know that cough has been holding on. Keep doing things that take you to that next level. You know, Veronica, our guest today is a perfect example of that. She reached out to me when she was working in a hospital and she’s going to talk about that story and how she now has a group practice, she also has a consulting business as well, and she is launching a podcast. She’s one of our Done For You podcasters and was just a superstar at Slow Down School this summer.
Slow Down School was an amazing event that I host at the end of July where people fly into Northern Michigan and we slow down together, we go hiking, we get massages, we have a yoga teacher come in, we have a chef that cooks for us and we hang out in the beaches and let our brains rest. And then the best use of our time rises to the surface. And then Wednesday, Thursday and Friday morning we run full tilt. And you know, Veronica is someone who really pushed our group to just live unapologetically. I love how her business Empowered and Unapologetic is just such a unique business because you hear that word empowered a lot, but I don’t think that anyone really lives it out as much as Veronica. She and I had some time after Slow Down School because her flight was a little bit later and she, and Christina and I all hung out and we went wine tasting and then we took her to the airport and you know, she lives this life that is unapologetic that many women and some, and a lot of men I think, struggle with and she does such a great job of just living that out through her podcast and through her business.
Well today on the Practice of the Practice podcast we have Veronica Cisneros. Veronica is a licensed marriage and family therapist, motivational speaker, mother of three and a wife of her beloved husband for almost 20 years. Through personal experience, she has defeated life’s challenges by leaning into fear unapologetically. She’s taught hundreds of women how to take ownership of their lives, lean into fear and let go of judgment. However, this is not a big enough impact and she learned to empower the millions of women worldwide who suffer in silence. Veronica focuses on creating true change and encouraging women to no longer compromise themselves in order to meet the needs of others. Veronica, welcome to the Practice of the Practice podcast.
Who am I outside of all these roles that I’ve played? And I was there, I felt completely useless. And now, you know, in my private practice, seeing women at this extreme level of depression, at this extreme level of anxiety, so much so that they’re even having thoughts of suicide. It’s like, “Wait a minute, wait, wait just a second. You do not have to suffer silently. I can help.” And I decided, well, you know what, I don’t have to wait until they get to this point. I don’t have to wait till their symptoms have become so extreme. I can go out and catch them before. And it’s kind of like pre-therapy, right before they really need therapy, right before their symptoms are so critical. And that’s been my focus, helping women where I was at; defeated, overwhelmed, insecure, you know, lack of confidence. And that’s been my target, to go ahead and help those before they get to that point. [JOE]: Yes. I feel like so many couples get to that point where they’ve just, I don’t know, like taken, like they haven’t thought through how to keep the marriage alive and they just get in these kind of trenches. Like what have you noticed that the women that you work with do differently when they start to recapture who they are outside of those roles? [VERONICA]: They start saying no. They actually start saying no. They start setting boundaries. They realize that the expectations placed on them by society is, they don’t have to meet, they’re, those expectations are unrealistic and these women become, like before my eyes, you know, with the retreat that I held, these women, I just, to see that transition from being completely defeated, completely overwhelmed, completely insecure, to empowered, to having this voice, to be able to say no to all of these expectations placed on them, not only by society, but in their marriage with their kids to be able to say no and not to say no where they’re filling in, you know, selfish. More or less, I don’t have to do everything perfectly. I can do it in my own way and I can actually, if I do it in my own way, if I actually say no to pleasing and appeasing everybody, then I can actually be my true authentic self and I can then emotionally connect with my spouse. I can emotionally connect with my children and I can be present versus living on autopilot, being completely numb, and stressed out. [JOE]: Yes. So, I want to bounce into kind of the logistics of how you started your big idea, because you know your story, it’s awesome. You know, your ideal clients are awesome. But then people, you know, they have these passions for different populations and then they don’t know what to do next. So how did you start to understand your ideal client for the big idea, how did you engage them, what were some of those steps that you walked through, to eventually get to the point that you could sell tickets to a retreat? [VERONICA]: It’s a great question. So, I had to listen. I knew what I needed when I was going through my own struggles. And in the beginning, I remember fighting and thinking, “Well, that’s what everybody needs.” And I was really getting coached by you one-on-one where you started challenging me and asking me, “Now Veronica, okay, well what does every, I know that’s what you want, but what does everybody else want?” And I started really truly listening to my audience. I, you know, I started with the Facebook group and I opened up a Facebook group to so many women and that Facebook group just started, you know, wrecking up in numbers and so many women reaching out to me, telling me, “Well this is what’s going on in my life and this is what’s going on in my family and this is what’s going on in my marriage.”
I was really listening and I even asked them, you know, “Well, okay, so in an ideal world, what would you want your life to look like and what is keeping you from going there?” And I started to develop these steps. You know, in the beginning, I was all over the place. I was a complete mess. I thought, like I said, I thought I knew at all and it was really listening to what my clients, what my customers, what the women in my groups really needed, and hearing them and hearing their pain, and really connecting it with mine so that I can empathize with them and I could walk in their journey without attempting to be their hero. I can walk in their journey and be their guide because they already knew the answers. [JOE]: Yes. And I think that’s so important to listen to your audience. More times than not, when I do a pre-consulting call with someone, when we’re talking about whether or not they want to do consulting or Done For You podcast or whatever it is that they’re looking at, they say, “I have this product, I have this retreat, I have this idea,” and it’s either they’ve launched it and it’s not selling, or they’re like, “I want to sell this thing.” I always say to them, “We have to fall in love with the who. Like who is it that you’re attracting, know their pains, know their struggles, and then the how is going to reveal itself. But you really have to focus on the people way before the product.” And so that’s hard for a lot of people because they fall in love with their handbook or their whatever they’re doing. But it’s like your audience might not buy that. Just start with the audience and then the rest should reveal itself. [VERONICA]: It’s so true. It’s like, you know, this is all we know. And so, because this is all we know and this is something that we’re familiar with, it’s like, “Please do not take this away from me. This is like my Bible.” So yes, it’s, I mean we’re asking, you know, I know for me, I’m asking these women to take a leap into vulnerability and, “Hello, I got to do it myself,” you know? [JOE]: Yes. You know, it’s interesting because I think I really saw your message come alive at Slow Down School and it was one of those things where, and each year it happens. I never know who the kind of unexpected leaders will be but you know, two years ago it was Michael and Jessica and then they came and spoke this year, but I feel like you were this leader that just emerged from the group and a lot of your message really resonated with the women that were there. Maybe talk about from your point of view, the experience of Slow Down School, but then also just what you saw in the changes that people made at Slow Down School in kind of informally working with you. [VERONICA]: So Slow Down School. It was something I didn’t even know I needed. You know, building up this new business, I’m completely attached to my phone and you told us in the beginning, “Let go. Let go completely. I want you to just be in the moment.” And that was so, oh gosh, that was so, that was just so eye-opening for me. That was just so, like, just amazing for me because I really didn’t know I needed that. I really didn’t know I needed that space for [coughs] that creative process to allow my brain to just take a rest and just be. So, it was in that, I believe it truly allowed me to connect with what I believe I’m meant to do in life. And you know I was in a whole group of therapists, beautiful, amazing therapists, amazing women. And there was then, however, you know, and connecting with the women, it just, I don’t know, it just came out. It just, what I do, what I absolutely love to do, which is really challenge women to go ahead and step outside of their comfort zones and really truly be their authentic self.
I’m in a group full of therapists, mind you. So, I already thought like, “Hello, it’s already happening for them so they don’t need your services.” And I really didn’t intend it to go that way, and yet I was helping women step out of their comfort zone so much so that they were literally stepping outside of their comfort zone. I won’t get into what that’s all about, but just really challenging themselves to go ahead and tap into who they already were, who they already are, and loving everything about themselves. And you know, even the way they were communicating to their spouses, even the way they were communicating to their kids, it was just, it was amazing to see them just be there.
Again, I can’t say it enough, to be their true authentic selves. Be real. And I think there’s a lot of pressure, especially when we’re in a group of professionals. You know, we want to put our best foot forward and it’s very difficult for us to put our guards down because we want to give off this professional, you know, bad-ass approach or persona, I should say. And it was in working with these women individually and as a group that you really started to see them shine and just do these things that they never thought they would do before. And I was just so thankful that I got to be a part of it. [JOE]: Well, it was so cool to see you get then testimonials from people that had really experienced genuine change that then you used to promote your event and all that because you’re with these people all week kind of working with them. What were some other kinds of business shifts that happened after you spent the time to slow down at Slow Down School? [VERONICA]: Holy moly. I think I created everything there. You know, it was like, I just had all of these ideas, all of these ideas just started coming to me and like little by little I started writing them down and you know, like those 20-minute sprints that you had us do, I must have felt, you know, you gave us this journal. I’ve, I filled it up with all of these ideas and I didn’t want those 20 minutes to end. It was like, “No, no, no, don’t take this away from me. I’m getting so much —” [JOE]: I’m in flow. [VERONICA]: Right. I’m in flow, don’t mess up off low. And I was just like writing everything down and getting all of these ideas out. Ideas I never thought of. I mean, you know, sure, they pass through my head, you know, maybe in the shower, but I’m not writing anything down in the shower, you know? And sure, every now and then, you know, maybe in a dream or when I wake up and you know, I’d write half of it down and then as I’m writing I like totally forgot everything that was in my dream. But here, you know, in Slow Down School with these 20-minutes sprints, it was like, “No, you get to just let it flow, and, I let it flow. [JOE]: I think that’s the magic of taking those two and a half days to genuinely decompress because you know, we think we do that, but the weekends are filled with kid activities and spouse activities and it’s not like you’re having your meals made for you. It’s not like you’re having all of these other things done. And so, the joy of Slow Down School I think is that it really pulls you back from it and then you’re better able to kind of re-engage and those ideas just come to the surface at the end of it. So, Veronica, tell me a little bit more about then how you took what you learned at Slow Down School and applied it to your retreat. [VERONICA]: So I went ahead and the minute I got home, well not even the minute, I got home, the minute I got onto the plane, I had a full on game plan and I was able to go ahead and come up with this game plan at Slow Down School on what my next steps were going to be. And I really went ahead and just jumped straight into it. I knew I wanted to go ahead and host this retreats, I knew I wanted to go ahead and you know, have everything set in place to make this an amazing space for women to go out and be vulnerable, for women to go out and open up and really make that transition. And I felt as if I had a full-proof game plan the minute I landed and I went from there. I just started implementing everything that I learned and, truly started to go ahead and take action. [JOE]: Yes. That’s one thing I love about working with you is that it’s like, “All right, Joe, what can I do next? I just got everything done two weeks early.” So, like [crosstalk] you’re like, if I’m going to invest in this, I’m going to do it, which is — [crosstalk] [VERONICA]: I’m getting my money’s worth. [JOE]: And I think that, you know, as a consultant, it makes me continue to just raise my game plan, make sure that I am, super, like delivering over the top. So, take us through the, we don’t have to go into the whole planning of the retreat. So, people come to this retreat in LA Hoya. What did they experience while they were there? [VERONICA]: Well, first off, we were in this legit mansion right there by the beach. They just experienced this, the minute they walked into the house, we had a chef, we had, you know, I had my assistant there, we had everything set up. So, all they had to do was just relax. And that was really important. That was really, really important for me because I wanted the women to just come in, not feel as if they had any expectations, like they had to clean anybody’s room or yell at anybody to go ahead and clean up the mess they left on the floor. It was just, I wanted them to just have this space to be themselves. And I really felt like we created that at the retreat, you know. [JOE]: And how did you structure out what you wanted to present versus small groups versus individual, because you know, oftentimes the introverts feel like there’s not enough kind of reflection time, extroverts feel like there’s not enough socializing time? How’d you find that balance between content, activity, like all of that? [VERONICA]: So, in one of my, I was on the hot seat, and that was my question. All right, so this is — [JOE]: Within the, let me get the context. So, within the mastermind group, you were in the hot seat?
Speaker 5: Yes. So I was, yes, I am in the mastermind group and it was my turn to be on the hot seat and I wanted to go ahead and make sure every single question I asked these mastermind, you know, my mastermind group meant something and it was something I really needed at the time and I really needed answers to. And, you know, we went ahead and we pulled it apart from what our photo-shoot looked like to the women are walking into the house all the way down to some of the exercises that I had planned for them. And that really helped me. It really helped me hear from other professionals who’ve done, maybe they haven’t thrown a retreat, but they had ideas that they’ve implemented in their practices, that they’ve implemented with their own big idea. And it really helped me truly hone in on what I wanted the entire retreat to look like. And so, I was able to go out and take the feedback from them, I was able to take the feedback from you and just again put it into action. And it was amazing. I was so glad that I was able to do that, and I had that group to just bounce off ideas with. [JOE]: Yes. Well, and I know just from my own standpoint, having my wife come out there to the retreat and to participate, it’s been awesome to see how she’s trying to figure out how to articulate her message and her voice more authentically. I think for a lot of people learning to do that is a new skill and so, it’s a little wonky sometimes, but knowing you and knowing what you’ve kind of taught Christina and all the work that she’s done, it’s so exciting to think about, well, what would it be like if she lived more authentically, if she didn’t stop her feelings, if she didn’t just view herself as a wife or as a parent, but she genuinely said like, “I want to be who I want to be,” and so even just from the personal, like husband’s standpoint, I’m excited about seeing where that kind of lands for her. [VERONICA]: Absolutely. And I got to say, thank you so, so much for trusting me with your wife and you know, it was, she was really the one who gave me the idea to host a retreat. It was when all went out to dinner and I’d met you in person for the first time and, you know, it was no pressure, I was, I had Joe’s wife there — [JOE]: And your whole family and like, “Kids, you better behave.” [crosstalk]. [VERONICA]: Right? No pressure. [JOE]: Our kids all got along and that was our spring break. So, we were all laid back and stuff and our travel plans had gone well, so we weren’t like super stressed out, which was nice and Willie is just so awesome and fun to hang out with. [VERONICA]: Yes, he is. But yes, I mean it was just amazing and I was just so thankful that I had that opportunity. It was my first retreat, and then I had Joe’s wife there and I was like, “Oh my God, I really got to get this.” You know, “I don’t want him to regret it.” So, you know, and it was just, like I said, it was just an amazing experience. And you know, even being at the retreat, Joe, I have to say, you know there was a moment when I gave the women an exercise to do and I asked them to go ahead and just take a minute and just do a little bit of a journal entry and I got to go ahead and watch all of them. I looked at all of them and you know, a good amount of them were crying. A good amount of them were just in it; vulnerable, right? Just raw. And I was like, “Holy moly, I’m in the exact place that I was meant to be. Like, this is totally my purpose. I was meant to do this.” And you know — [JOE]: That is such a great feeling. I don’t want to move past that because that is such a great feeling. Like I feel that at Slow Down School and it’s just one of those things where when you, you know, like I created this, I had a vision for it, but then the people that are there turn it into something you never could have planned also. And so, it’s this sort of, you just want to savor it because you know that that group is never going to be together in that way again. Even if the exact same people come a year from now, they’re going to be totally different people and show up differently. And so just that, like savoring it as the facilitator, I really try to do when I’m facilitating, and that’s so cool that you did. [VERONICA]: Absolutely. It was a great experience. I literally just took it in and I was so glad I did. And I just sat there and you know, I was like, “Okay. All right. I can’t wait to do more. I cannot wait to do more. I can’t wait to see where this goes. I can’t wait to go out and help more women because we shouldn’t be suffering silently.” You know, we have a good amount of women come to me and say, “I shouldn’t be complaining about this. I have a husband, I have my kids, I have a house, I have a good life. I shouldn’t be complaining about this.” And it’s like, “Well no. Yes, you should. Nobody should be suffering silently. And it’s okay. It’s okay to say that you’re not happy. It’s okay to say that you’re stuck,” and I don’t, I really don’t think that there’s a platform out there that gives us women permission to go on and say those things out loud without judgment. And that’s my goal. That’s my goal, to go out and create this strong community of a bunch of bad ass women who are able to say, “You know what, enough. I’m ready to be me. I’m ready to own it and I’m ready to go out and thrive. I ready to go on and just take it to that next level.” [JOE]: Oh, that’s so awesome. Well, the last question I always ask is, if every private practitioner in the world were listening right now, what would you want them to know? [VERONICA]: Leap. I’m going to tell you right now, leap. We ask our clients every single hour, every single minute that they’re in front of us, we ask them to go ahead and step into this vulnerable level of uncertainty, right? We ask them to go out and truly challenge themselves and take in all of the coping skills we’re teaching them, to take in this new life that we’re helping them live. We’re doing that for them. However, very rarely do we do that for ourselves. You know, we just stay on this hamster wheel and we stay in what we know and we stay in this world of familiarity. I’m going to tell you right now, you are meant to do so much more, so much more; so, leap. And if you can embrace, embrace that little voice in your head that says that you’re meant to do something different, embrace it, listen to it. That’s what I would give you guys. [JOE]: Oh, it’s so awesome. Well, I want to go through some of the resources we talked about. So, Veronica’s website is empoweredandunapologetic.com. Veronica if they want to join the Facebook group, hear about the retreats, follow your work, I know you’re really active on Instagram, what are the links for all of that and we’ll also put those in the show notes? [VERONICA]: Absolutely. So, the link, you guys all better follow me is @empoweredandunapologetic on Instagram. I’m on there, I’m posting things about my life, I’m posting things about my struggle and even the wins that other women experience. And then in the Facebook group, sorry fellas, it’s only for women, and in the Facebook group it’s under groups\empoweredandunapologetic. [JOE]: Awesome. Well, a couple of other, the resources Veronica talked about being in the mastermind group and doing some one-on-one consulting with me. If you want to apply for either of those, we do have a waiting list for the big ideas mastermind group but we’ll be launching one soon. So, head on over to practiceofthepractice.com/apply. And then, the dates that Slow Down School is going to be open at the early bird rate, are going to be January 14th. That’s when the early bird tickets go on sale for $2,500 which barely covers our costs for it, but we just want to get amazing people together and then on February 27th, the regular prices happen and that’s going to be $3,900. And that’s all inclusive. Includes all of your lodging, all of your food, all of the drinks, everything, the transportation from the airport.
It just doesn’t include your flight. Other than that, it’s pretty much covered the whole time. So, head on over to slowdownschool.com for that. And you got to check out. Veronica’s retreat. We’re going to embed the video from that retreat in the show notes. That’s getting finalized right now. By the time this goes live, it will be well finished. And so, then you can sign up for her next retreat if you want to be one of these empowered and unapologetic women. Veronica, I’m so proud of all that you’ve done in such a short period of time. You are absolutely killing it and I love to watch your growth. [VERONICA]: Thank you so much Joe. I’m really, really thankful for all you’ve done and just how much you’ve helped me and, I mean, look, I’m on your podcast. [JOE]: Yes, you’re here. Awesome. Well keep it up and I know I’m going to be talking to you again soon in the mastermind group. [VERONICA]: That’s right. [JOE]: What an awesome episode. We had some tech issues in there as you may or may not have picked up on, but you know, seeing someone like Veronica just rock it out, how she has gone from working in a hospital to starting a podcast, getting a group practice going, growing her practice, all of those things in such a short period of time. It just shows that when you’re surrounded by the right people, you can really do it. And maybe this is the year that you reach out to us and join one of the mastermind groups, do some individual consulting, start a podcast, you know. Reach out to me. If you’re interested in Slow Down School or if you’re interested in doing any of those sorts of leveling up, head on over to practiceofthepractice.com/apply. I’ll jump on a phone call with you, see if you’re a fit, see if the ROI, the return on investment, is there for you. We will be honest about whether or not I think it’s a good fit for you at this time in your career.
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Special thanks to the band Silence is Sexy for your intro music. We really like it. And this podcast is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regards to the subject matter covered. It is given with the understanding that neither the host, the publisher, or the guests are rendering legal, accounting, clinical, or other professional information. If you want a professional, you should find one.